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Let??s get one thing straight. Jade Hsu has perfect feet. I??ve seen tons of terrific tootsies in my day. But Jade??s are the holy grail. Roller coaster arches, silk soles, lollipop toes, tinted slightly pink when they??re fresh out of shoes. Boy oh. Problem is, girl??s a whackadoo. I mean, her ADD has ADD. But what the fuck are you going to do, right? She??s a goddess and needs to be worshipped. Or at least offered a spunk tribute while she gets plowed for your peeping pleasure. Hey, you viewers are lucky. I??m giving you the great vista, and sparing you the Jade cacophony. You??re welcome!

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